Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
