party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
