you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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