I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
