if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
