it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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