watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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