You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
