Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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