meet me or not, i'm out of control
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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