Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
did i walk over a car last night?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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