My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize