I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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