A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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