He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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