Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
