I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
