she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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