my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
