What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Mom said you looked used
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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