And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
That's intense
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
