Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
