you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
