i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
