His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
