sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
