Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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