Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He felt like a one man threesome
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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