I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
