it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
barbara walters just said penis...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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