ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
