Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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