why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
