your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
