The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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