Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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