woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
