Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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