I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
