I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
