my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
