mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
