just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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