We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
