We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Randomize
