Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
