I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
