u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
