i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
