"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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