Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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