I cockslap morals
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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