I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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