Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
