i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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