So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
