I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
