That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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