TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
