Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
