her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
