matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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