For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Green mimosas i think yes
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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