my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
