and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
