I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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