uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
